Car....GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Oh my god I am so tired of making repairs to my car. Thank god my van is good, but the car has become a money pit. Not sure if it is just normal repairs needed after so long or if my driver i hired is just being crazy with his abilities and hot rodding. I am about to get rid of him if I find out that is the cause. I can't afford someone making me pay for their dumb driving. I have had to get onto him about speeding and staying in his lane twice now so the car will decide.

Getting Kids In 10 Days...

I am so looking forward to seeing the kids it has been awhile. It has kept me busy with preperations too!! The kids have grown so much, I see it in their clothes sizes. Wish I had them home all the time. It just doesn't feel right. I got them new dressers last week, which was just in time for the stacks of clothes I've been buying. I think it so much easier to just have everything for the kids as if it were their only home and then just pick them up. I hate to wait when they haven't packed. I do not have any wishes to have to talk to the dumbass ex husband. Which jesse always tells me how Im married already..... I don't think Jesse will ever marry me, Im not totally sure how I feel about that but eventually I will. I know that I feel like an outsider in his home and around his family. His children gotta love them just wish they could pick up their stuff better. I really do hate having OCD about the house but damn it ill never go away. If i could control OCD I sure would. If I could make it all go away, I sure would. My biggest wish is to have a home that we can all have space in. Maybe it would feel different when I wonder if we will last.