What I want out of life seems so simple to explain but hard to actually grasp. I want to live comfortably and in a family setting with the ones I love. It seems all so simple and yet I have not reached out and been able to grab a hold of this. WHY?????
I have a company that is making the money, I have a boyfriend that makes his own money.
I have four kids, I have a boyfriend with two kids--- The Brady Bunch.
I have nice things for my home, my boyfriend has what he describes as gangsta living accents.
I have NO actual home of my own, my boyfriend has two.
I love my kids and my boyfriend and his kids, he does the same.
So how is it with all the main ingredients I am not fully and truly happy yet???
This is what I am trying to ponder and fix whatever it is that needs to be fixed to have the life goal. I want the fairytale life and yet do not seem even close to realty with it.
It has come to my attention that I am a bitch in any and all ways the word can be used. I am fully ok with this because yes I am in fact a bitch. I do not take shit from others and if I do not like something I try to at least change it. I can be pushy, bossy, outspoken, hell even rude if necessary, but then who isn't. I am rough in the words of others- I come off as being rough anyway, well that maybe true but that is all I know. To watch out for yourself and your family first and foremost. I do that when it comes to me and my children. I can not say I give a 100 % with the boyfriend and his kids and that is because we do not have a family relationship yet(marriage), we are boyfriend and girlfriend and so there is a gap in the cover of extended family as of right now. Am i wrong for not just giving 100%????
I guess it would be the trust and depending on others that holds me back because I have not done those things in a very long time. Not sure if it will become 100%. I do my best to adjust to everything and everyone around me but I am held back some by my bipolar ways.
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