What I miss

Since I moved to Ottumwa, I have had four main jobs.... Worked at Pizza Hut as waitress- nope don't even miss it in the least. I worked at Hotel Ottumwa as a housekeeper and nope don't miss it either. I now own my own cab company so there is nothing to miss there. But I DO miss the not so respectable job I had at Chills and Thrills as a stripper. I miss just hanging out with the girls- now we really do not see each other much at all, I miss just having people to talk to at any given time, I miss the dancing part because it was perfect weight loss and management program. Jesse says it was the attention and maybe that is a part but it isn't the main reason I miss it. Which I guess if i look at the big picture of always having someone to talk to then I guess it is a bit bigger part of the reason I miss Chills. The 20+ pounds I have gained are eating me alive when it comes to wearing clothes that look descent, never had a problem going shopping and having to chose clothes that cover up a fat role. Now I can not find really cute stuff anymore. I joined a fitness club to try to undo the damage this past year has done to my body, that is going to be slow in making a change but I worked out last night and felt worn down when finished. When I worked at the club I got worn down but that was after working from 5p to whenever we close up to 2am so big difference when I workout for 1 hour and feel like death. My muscles are screaming today and they are very loud and clear--- your ass out of shape (that what they telling me). I worked at Chills from Oct 07 to Jan 08 and lost 30+ pounds and I felt great. Now that I am packing the pounds back on I feel like shit and definitely not feeling sexy. I would like to get in and out of a shower without feeling like I need to run for cover. I want that feeling back that made me comfortable with my body.