Slow Recovery

Well I am overtired of not being able to do anything. I live with jesse and he has done a lot to help me out but the house is getting well for me very bad for him liveable. I am sick of not being able to clean...grrrrrrr. The shop needs cleaned too but i can't....grrrrrrrrr. All I do is drive whih I am not suppose to and do paperwork at the shop. Boring.
On a higher note I get to pick up the kids on friday and have them for the weekend. Today is Melvin's 13Th birthday. He has gotten so big. Before I know it he will be living on his own and doing his own thing all the time. I don't want that to ever happen. He is too busy for me as it is.

Suffering won't end

I just don't know what to do with myself. I am not to be lifting more than a gallon of milk, I can not do house chores, I can drive on highway with m inimum pain until i hit bumps or drive for too long- but in town it all hurt bad because I live in a river town that they don't care about their roads so we don't have a road but the highway going through without bumps (craters they are more than minor bumps in the rd). They said the general anesthesia would take couple days to get out of my system, it is still there after 4 days today and my shoulder and neck keep feeling the pain of it moving up and down through my body but not exiting. I am still in hell. I have never gone through so much pain and had to continue to suffer afterwards too. I am miserable and I feel like I am just in the way. I can't get comfortable in bed or in a chair. I can't wait to get these staples out so they stop poking me every time I move. They are irritating in themselves. I want relief. I just have no way of getting it. I am taking pain medicine like it is candy every 4-6 hrs and it only helps for short time and then I have to suffer until I am allowed another dose.
The kids start spring break in Hannibal on Tuesday the tenth and I got to go pick them up. I have no clue what I will do with them with all of these restrictions. I hope to be able to at least walk better by then. They complain when then come and don't get to do much and yet I can't fix this to do things. Melvin's birthday is wed- the big 13. Selena is the next wed- she'll be 11. I haven't been able to work so money just not there. My company is getting ruined because I can't drive for long. I attempted to run the whole day yesterday and all I got was four calls done and had to quit. Which I already missed the most busiest time of the month (the first week), and so I took a 700-1000 dollar loss already, plus have missed 2 days at end of Feb, and now still can't get out there and make my money. This month is really going to suck.

I am making requests on Monday to get my records from the doctor that did my original tubal ligation surgery, and then i will be getting all the reports for this ordeal I have been going through. It is not my fault I had to suffer for such an extended period of time, nor is it my fault these doctors are incompitent and couldn't figure out my pain and bleeding, nor is it my fault they failed to do a thorough check each time I ended up at emergency room and they just send me home. Expecially after completing an ultrasound, the doctor told me there was nothing in my tube or uterus. I am finding me an attorney. I repeatedly made attempts to get help and that hospital acted like it was a simple miscarriage or not a real pregnancy and left me to suffer for days on end. If that tube would have burst because they say there was nothing in it I would have died. I am amazed they said there was nothing in it. i saw the pictures after surgery and it was huge, considering I only had a partial tube they didn't even have to look hard( how they missed it I will never know).

Got out of the hopital today after six days of hell

Well I am so confused as how to explain the craziness i have been through in the last five days...it has been hell. As you know I found out I was pregnant on Feb 24 Th. I was beyond shocked. I took the test twice and just couldn't believe my eyes. I scheduled a apt for the very next day to confirm with a doctor. Yup i was pregnant. Jesse says "thought you could Not get pregnant" then "so we need and extra room" (he has been remodeling a home be purchased over the summer for us a bigger place with six kids). So it was weird on Feb 27Th I went to the bathroom and not fifteen minutes later felt like I just wet myself. I was having an achiness in my stomach. So I take it easy and then when it happened again I go to emergency room because when they confirmed pregnancy and realize I had tubal almost 7 years ago (in Sept 02) and gave me a bunch of here your pregnant reading materials and things to expect charts, so number two reason to go to er- vaginal leakage. The doctor take blood and urine, then says he going to do pelvic- says cervix closed 100% and then he done i say that doesn't explain why my stomach aches. Told me go home and no strenuous activities, and they scheduled me for an ultrasound on Monday Mar 2ND and this is Fri 27Th. So I am at home doing nothing but laying around taken it as easy as possible. go to bed early and woke about a million times. Went to bathroom at 530a ( Feb 28Th) and saw blood. Went directly to the emergency room and they took blood and urine and did pelvic exam- checked cervix and swabbed out blood but no culture done again. They ordered an ultrasound to be done right now,checked my hcg level, came in and told me the miscarriage was complete that there was no fetus or tissues left. Said she didn't actually believe I was really pregnant. So she sent me home and says take it easy. I left hospital at 8am. Went home and was taking it easy as they say- yet I was suffering because I'm in pain and they say it already over. Yet they give me no pain medicine or antibiotics. I went back to the emergency room after calling and asking if I should even come back if the pain has increased. They said I was always able to go in for a pain management visit and get a prescription. I get there at around 230p got a different doctor again. He looked back over the previous two visits and ordered blood and urine again and completed another pelvic exam with culture this time. Wanted to check my hcg levels and said I was having a miscarriage because it was not yet complete. Said I was to watch the blood loss and rest as much as I could. Gave me a prescription for hydrocodone every 6 hours for pain. Said that my hcg levels were dropping and gave me a 3 days off work release. All three of the doctors told me to keep my doctors appointment that had already been scheduled for Monday March 2ND. Went to the appointment and they didn't know what to do with me. Scheduled me to see a ob/gyn specialist at 345p same day Monday because they couldn't explain the amount of blood loss and pain associated with this miscarriage. So I had thought of skipping this appointment because now I had already seen four doctors and they were stumped. I pretty much figured they were all just going to let me bleed to death because they knew nothing. In the end Jesse told me I should go and let them know something was very wrong and that they had to do something about all my suffering. This doctor did a pelvic exam and told me get dressed. He was back in the room in 3 minutes with admission papers to the hospital told me he would meet me there. I chain smoked 2 cigs and checked in. His biggest concern was that the baby was in my tube and if it burst I could bleed to death for sure if that didn't happen a lot of other things could. He had them get me prepped for surgery. They observed my vitals for a couple hours to be sure I was stable and collected more urine and blood to see where my levels were at. I went into surgery at 5pm. He explained to me that his first intentions were to scrape my uterus(dnc) and was hoping to get tissue at least to prove it was a simple miscarriage and get the bleeding to stop so it would ease my pain. Said that he could do it all microscopically if that was in fact going to be the cure. Said at the same time he would be doing a laproscope to check my tubes for damage. Which he found I had a severe bladder infection before the surgery was to start so he had them pushing 3 IV bags of antibiotics through my system before they went in. Told me I would only have the same incision that I had from my first tubal ligation if all was good. He would only cut further if it was a necessity. He did explain to me that if he in fact found the baby in my tube that my tubes would become a severe liability to my health then or in the future if I got pregnant again so he would have to remove them both for my protection. I came out of surgery and woke up in recovery shortly after 8pm on the 3rd of march. When I finally came to enough to comprehend what had fully happened I was in pretty much the same amount of pain. I was being given pain medication every 4 hours to control it though. It cut the pain in half. It at least helped. He did find the baby in my tube and said it has caused my tube to be four times its normal size, if it would have been left in their it would have killed me when it burst. Said a normal fallopian tube was no larger than the size of a pencil and that was large. Said mine had swollen with baby in it to the size of an intestine. He removed both of my tubes and the baby. Told me if I in fact ever wanted to have anymore children I could do it by invetro fertilization and would have a better chance because then all I had to do was carry the baby once it was placed safely into my uterus and that my tubes would no longer have the ability to fertilize and transport a fetus as they once did without risking my health and life again. So I ended up with my belly button scar being cut open plus some further cutting and stapled shut with four staples and I had to be cut on both my sides also to get the expanded pieces of tube out. So I have staples in those incisions as well but I have yet to remove those bandages for the first time to see exactly how many staples are holding me together there. I didn't make it to the pharmacy to get my pain medication filled or to get gauze and tape, because after I got out of the shower I would need to change the dressings. So I couldn't take my shower and I am feeling nasty. I hope to be up early and get a ride to the pharmacy because I am not allowed to drive for at least a week. I can not do house chores for a month, have sex for at least a month, only thing I can do is walk for short periods of time, and rest to get my body to heal. It is 12am and I have already been waken from the pain, and Jesse is a bed hog that is going to end up rolling over on me if I stay in bed. Sucks. I took some of the first pain medicine that was prescribed to at least help until I get my stronger pain medicine tomorrow. I was released from the hospital at 6pm on march 4Th. That has been my last 6 days of hell. I am only at the beginning of my healing 30 day minimum doctor says. I am not even to lift more than a gallon of milk for the next month. I don't know what I am going to do with myself. I had a horrible nurse half the time I was in the hospital that made me feel like a burden. So I wouldn't ask for pain med or anything while she was on shift. I would ask other nurses when she was on break. I couldn't wait to get out of their. I am going to turn her into the board at the hospital for hr treatment of patients and her rudeness.

If I bleed to death it not my fault

Thats right if i bleed to death it not my fault and someone should seriously sue each and every doctor that has seen me in the state of Iowa since Friday. I have been to the emergency room 3 times for pain and discharge then pain and bleeding twice and they are the dumbest doctors on the face of the planet. And lets not forget the Riverhills clinic and their full staff because they do not understand a word that came out of my mouth until the last two minutes of that ordeal. Now they have me going to yet another ob/gyn doctor this afternoon and for what i am not sure because the rest of them couldn't figure shit out. And yet I still have an enormous amount of pain and bleeding still. If this one can not figure out what is going on then I give up. I will sit home and spend my last days bleeding like a stuck pig yet it will not be my fault. I have made repeated attempt to get help and they are just dumb and send me home as if everything is fine. I do not know how to explain to them this is not fine except to do so in english and they are not getting that. I explain my pain and they see me suffer yet no help but a pain prescription and no knowledge what is happening. I have had a miscarriage before i know the pain i know the blood but this is completely different.

Baby Gone- In Process

My luck as usual is bad and has struck again. Friday I went to the hospital because everytime I pee i would have a discharge within minutes of peeing and I was in moderate pain. They said i should take it easy and that my cervix was closed so that was good. I ended up back at the hospital 7 hours later because i had more pain and bleeding had started. They said I was miscarrying. I ended up back at the hospital again for the second time on saturday which they had already done an ultrasound and said all tissue was gone and hcg level had dropped. Well that emergency room doctor was a quack and the third doctor said the miscarriage had really just begun. The fetus had not passed and that is why my pain level had tripled. He completed cultures and more blood and urine esting, gave me pain medicine and said I should go home directly to bed and rest and not move around too much. Well today is the third day of bleeding and I have yet to pass the fetus. Bleeding has increased and pain is still extreme. I have had a miscarriage before and the pain was not this bad and it took nine days to pass the fetus then. Both jesse and I are very disappointed. I told him that they say no sex for three weeks because I am very fertile right now so I told him I want to at least try to have a baby with him. When the bleeding stops I will rape him. I am going to at least try. I want to have a baby with him and obviously having my tubes cut and tied don't stop me from getting pregnant i just need to take it easy.