Well back to the pits of my world.

My birthday sucked! Brianna asked on the 14th at 945p to call her dad. I dialed the phone and two hours later the ex wants to talk to me after he talked to all the kids. Which melvin and robert have been mad at me so I coiuldn't begin to think what was up with them going to their room on their own. I get on the phon to hear the ex asshole telling me what a piece of shit I am and how the kids need to be returned 3 wks early. Which means yup he wanted me to drive them back on my birthday. Told him no. He says that he calling family services and the cops because I have allowed jesse to be mean to the kids. Said jesse threathened the kids and told them he would be paying them hourly when they worked ith him and now he wasn't and that wasn't right. Told him none of the shit he was saying happened and he said that my boys said it did. So yup melvin and robert got mad because they werent getting handed cash non- stop like they had expecgted. I explained to the asshole that the kids were being paid just hadnt given them large amounts of money because they were wasting it and we would bepaying them in the stuff that they had personally told us they were working to buy. They always complain they dont get things at home with their dad and had made lists of what they had wanted. So jesse started taking selena to the store 1st because she was listening and not doing the non-stop fighting. Briannna was having her party scheduled at the beach lkike se wanted and we were gonna take her shopping seperate. Same with the boys. Give them their own time t shop and do it one on one to spend time together. They got mad and started telling their father lies. So at 12am we departed to take them homebecause I was not playing the games with everyone. He of course made a scene and had to do his normal yelling and threatening to me. Also jesse. Now I try to call and talk to my kids and the ex wont allow it. I talked to selena about a wee afterwards because he was at her grandmas and she was telling me how she wanted to come live with me. I told her she is 11 and can chose on her own where she wants to go- me or her father, told her if that was what she wanted I would make it happen. He held something over her head and made her tell about pour conversation and so that is a main reason he will not let me talk to my kids. I don know what to do. I can save and attempt to get the kids in bfront of a judge a nd then they can chose but he will be threatening them the whole time. I really dont know what to do. There is a part of me that knows the kids want to be with their dad but would rather him treat them better but I also think they want to be with me. i dont want to get them a court date and have them suffer with the decision or the consequences of staying with their dad when they all dont come. If one or two or even three do come that means whoever stays will have to deal with their father and his anger. They go through this all the time when I have to turn him in for neglect and abuse. They suffer because they talk. I just dont know what to do. If I do nothing I never see them again unless the asshole decides he need a break which could take a year or more like usual. if I do somthing we all suffer. A small part of me just wants to walk away so they at least are stable and he will let up on them as long as they dont have ideas that I am coming after them to have them live with me. I called 18 times on the 4th of july just to talk to the kids but only got in an arguement with him and never once got to speak to my kids. He says he not gonna let me. He says I am no longer a mother and that I never have been. He just dont rfealize I want to be a mother to my children and always hve he just wont allow me to.